Blood On Her Hands
by seasaltmemories
Summary: Nobody would answer those questions for her, but it wasn't like Serena had expected that to happen. This was just one step in her quest to become a person she could be proud to be. Now was not the time to stay frozen in fear.
It took Serena every inch of her willpower to not run after she rang the doorbell. She was raised to face greater dangers than this, yet she couldn't stop her hands from shaking. What weakness. She closed and opened her fists in order to regain a sense of control. She couldn't survive everything only to break down now of all places.

When the door finally opened, Serena managed to keep from flinching. Mrs. Shijima was not an opposing figure, but damn it _why was she still shaking?_

"Excuse me," Mrs. Shijima adjusted her glasses. "But why are you here?"

"I was wondering ma'am if you would be alright discussing your son with me," Serena did what she did best and cut right to the chase. Had to rip things off like a band-aid, didn't you?

Mrs. Shijima's eyes widened ever so slightly, but not noticeable for most to catch. It was both admirable yet heartbreaking. "Why of course, but why don't you come in and sit down with me?"

"Alright," Serena bit her lip. Time to finally burn for her sins.

The Shijima household was very neat and tidy, an admirable trait, but she couldn't help notice the lack of family pictures. She hadn't really been to many normal households, so maybe most people didn't keep a lot of pictures. It was hard to tell what was her true deductions and what was the result of her paranoia.

"Do you like tea?" Mrs. Shijima gestured her to sit on the coach. "I have some I recently brewed so don't feel as if you're opposing on me."

Serena had come in expecting the worst, expecting hellfire and damnation. Sure she hadn't spilled the truth yet, but still the hospitality took her by surprise. All she could do was give a stiff nod in reply and try not to let her anxiety show.

"You're the You Show girl aren't you? The one who defeated Kotsu in the Junior Arc League Tournament last year or so?" She passed Serena her tea and sat down across from her without pausing in the slightest. "I was surprised you would be connected with Leo Corp, but then I remember seeing you in that video Mrs. Akaba showed-"

"-I'm not Hiragi Yuzu," Serena interrupted. "I know we look quite alike, but I am not her."

Mrs. Shijima blinked twice. "Ah, now that you mention it, I can see the differences. I'm sorry for the confusion. Would you like to introduce yourself to me then?"

"Name's Serena. I'm the one who-" She could feel her throat start to tighten as the guilt washed over her. Damn it, she had never expected that one little skirmish to have such an effect on her when she first arrived to Standard. She wanted to run, run as far as away and bury her mistake back into the past.

Still that wouldn't do if she wanted to become the Serena she wanted to be. She was a warrior, and warriors fought for honor until their last dying breath. With a deep breath she continued,

"I'm the one who killed your son."

Once again, Mrs. Shijima's expression barely changed. It was only the slight parting of the lips, the raising of her eyebrows that showed any emotions. Despite her understated reaction, Serena almost wished she had screamed and cried and cursed her. That at least she could handle.

It seemed an eternity passed before Mrs. Shijima spoke. "It was so much easier to hate you when you were a nameless figure, a malicious ghost that spirited away my child. It's much harder since he'd be around your age by now."

"Mmhm," Serena took a sip of her tea. "I'm perfectly fine with you hating me to be frank. My good intentions don't wipe the blood off my hands."

"So you're not here to beg for forgiveness?" Mrs. Shijima's gaze pierced her soul.

"No ma'am. I only wish to apologize for my mistakes."

Mrs. Shijima turned away, lost in memories Serena would never know. "I forgave you a long time ago."

"What?!" Damn it, she had to get a better grip on her behavior, but how could that be true?

"It wasn't for you," Her words grew sharp as steel. "I shed my tears and cursed your existence plenty of times before. I've grieved my sorrow away. Still the only way I could move on was by forgiving you. It didn't matter if you were a demon. Forgiveness helped lay Hokuto's soul to rest."

"Thank you ma'am," Serena sighed. "I don't deserve it, but I appreciate your kindness all the same."

Just then, she heard the sound of the door opening again and saw a tall man enter.

"I'm home. Just had a-oh?" He paused once he noticed Serena. "Who's our guest?"

 _Here we go again. I have to bear my sins once more to those I hurt the most._

"A former classmate of Hokuto's," Mrs. Shijima smoothly lied. "I believe she's is the Fusion course with Kotsu."

"Well then, a pleasure to make your acquaintance," He held out his hand and flashed a friendly grin. "The Masumi family is very dear to us, so anyone associated with them can't be too bad. I'm Rento Shijima."

"Serena," She shook hands a bit too quickly. "I should be making my leave about now."

"Oh I'm sure it wouldn't hurt if you stayed for dinner, right dear?" Mr. Shijima said.

"I have a plane to catch soon," Portal to the Fusion dimension, but it was all the same. "I'll take a rain check for the dinner."

"Alright," Mrs. Shijima nodded in agreement, but she could tell she sensed the lie. "Be safe."

"I will. Goodbye." Serena hurried out before she could be sucked back into conversation. She all but sprinted away, weaving through the streets without a second thought.

 _Was that good enough? Will I finally make up for my stupid nativity I first held? Can I forgive myself now as well?_

Nobody would answer those questions for her, but it wasn't like she had expected that to happen. This was just one step in her quest to become a person she could be proud to be. Now was not the time to stay frozen in fear.

With a shaky smile, Serena took the next step towards her vision.

* * *

 **A.N. This is a fic I've wanted to write for a long time, while I adore Serena, I feel she still needs to express at least a twinge of regret if she's to develop further**


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